Jealousy and Envy

Jealousy and Envy

Content comes from Rory Noland's The Heart of An Artist (chapter six)

Anger and Bitterness

• What is the feeling of jealousy?
• Anger: you are angry that they are more successful than you
• It’s difficult to admit because:
  - Covet: Against Biblical teaching
  - Shame
  - Admit to inferiority
• Therefore we often sweep it under the rug and pretend it’s not there
• It comes out in many ways: competition, bad-mouthing behind peoples’ back
• Eventually lead to bitterness:
  - you want those people to fail
  - Not only that we envy what others have but that we don’t want them to have it instead of us

Dealing with it
1. Confess it as sin

• Cultivate self-awareness – know when you are jealous
• Beware of denial
• Don’t hide it or justify it. Just admit it
• God knows your thought
• Tell Him that you need help
• Seek help

2. Appreciate your God-given talent

• While we are busy envying someone else’s talents, we forget about what God has given us
• What is it that God has given you to do well?

3. Give credit where credit is due

4. The real issue is faithfulness

• Parable of five talents, two talents, and one talents (Matthew 25)
• We don't know why some receive more than others
• But the real issue is not who gets what but whether I’m going to be faithful and obedient with what I’ve been given
• It is a stewardship issue

5. Quit comparing with others

• Gordon MacDonald: “the soul cannot be healthy when one compares himself or herself to others. The soul dies a bit every time it is involved in a lifestyle that competes. It gives way to the destructive forces of rivalry, envy and jealousy.”
• We need to discover our own talents
• So I can be secure about who God made me to be and what He’s called me to do
• We need to discover the unique role God has for us and fulfill it with enthusiasm
• Be content by being what God has called us to be rather than by trying to be someone else

6. Turning envy into worship

• Mathew 20 - Parable of the worship pastor and his worship team
• “Didn’t I pay you what we agreed upon? I haven’t cheated you out of anything. Can’t I do what I want with my money? Or are you envious because I am generous?”
• My envy can be turned to worship:
  - I can acknowledge God’s sovereignty in the way He distributes talents and abilities
  - I can worship His goodness for giving me more talent than I deserve
  - I can worship the Giver instead of the gift

7. Develop relationships instead of rivalries

• We tend to alienate ourselves from the people we envy
• Reverse this tendency: do everything we can to develop relationships with them
• The more we get to know them the less threatening they become
• Pray regularly for them
• God puts us together to work with each other not against each other
• Instead of competing, we can learn a lot from each other

Reflection Exercise

1. Write down the names of any people in your life toward whom you have feelings of jealousy and envy

2. Confess your sin of jealousy and envy to God and ask Him for His help in dealing with this sin

3. Think about how you can turn your jealousy and envy into worship

4. Describe the negative results of comparing yourself with others

5. Choose someone in your life to whom you can be accountable for how you handle feelings of jealousy and envy